WORKING WITH LIFE’S CURVE BALLS IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION Balancing life as an on-call physician during one of the most challenging periods of my career. I found myself navigating several life-altering events at once: my mother’s diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer, the uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, relocating my medical practice, managing life as a single mother, and discovering that my office manager had been embezzling from my practice. Like many physicians, I was used to functioning under pressure. But this period tested me in ways I had never experienced. Being on call during the COVID-19 pandemic came with unprecedented uncertainty. The medical community was navigating the unknown while adapting to rapidly evolving protocols, including early vaccination requirements and patient care disruptions. During this time, my mother was visiting me from Calgary, Canada. Travel restrictions prevented her from returning home for several months. She had previously been treated successfully for breast cancer and was due for her routine six-month follow-up imaging in Canada. Like so many patients during the pandemic, she delayed her routine medical care. When she was finally able to return home and undergo evaluation, we received devastating news: her cancer had returned and progressed to metastatic disease. At the same time, I had just relocated my practice to a new office building—a milestone that should have been a professional accomplishment. Instead, the reality of overhead expenses, staffing costs, and reduced patient volume during the pandemic created a significant financial strain. I was also trying to find creative ways to travel back and forth to Canada to see my mother—first monthly, then every two weeks—while avoiding lengthy quarantine periods that would prevent me from practicing. Then came another shock: I discovered that my office manager, someone I trusted with many financial responsibilities, had been embezzling from the practice. The Emotional Toll I felt isolated not because I didn’t have friends, but due to the environment created by the epidemic. I felt guilty for not being able to do more for my mom. I felt ashamed for missing cues and not double checking my financials. I was burnt out physically and emotionally trying to do it all. Despite having supportive friends and colleagues, I felt deeply isolated, mainly due to the environment of the pandemic itself. I carried guilt for not being able to do more for my mother. I felt ashamed that I had missed warning signs and had not scrutinized my financial systems more carefully. And I was exhausted—physically and emotionally—from trying to manage everything at once. Burnout is often discussed in medicine but living through it while facing personal loss is an entirely different experience. Pivoting into Action The overwhelming pressure shifted my brain into pause and then action and I pivoted. I made a decision! I dropped my hospital call, took a leave of absence, and re-credentialed at a different AdventHealth location. Initially, I worried that I had burdened my colleagues and potentially damaged my referral network. As physicians, we often believe the system cannot function without us. But over time: I began to feel peace. For the first time in years, I had my weekends and evenings back. I slept better. I spent more time with my family. My colleagues adapted, the hospital hired additional specialists, and my referral patterns remained stable. This shift allowed me to rethink my practice. I built an office-based surgical suite that allowed me to treat many patients in the outpatient setting while helping reduce hospital admissions. I was able to travel more frequently to Canda during the end stage of my mom’s disease and be by her side in her last moments. I had the space to be a physician—but also to be human and to grieve. As Time Went By Like many physicians, I used work to suppress the emotional impact of my loss. I continued to restructure my path and practice and started to reinvent myself. I remarried a supportive partner and became more intentional with self-care, health, grounding, and meditation. Attending my first Well-being conference was transformative and cathartic. I connected with colleagues from the same hospital and realized we often greet each other with smiles while carrying unseen stress. Progressive Change There is a meaningful nature to my experience, and it has helped me reshape as a person and professional. I appreciated life and people more and became more present. While medicine is a calling, it should not be our entire identity. I became more intentional about investing in personal growth and meaningful pursuits outside of practice. Advice Allow yourself to feel your emotions and experience them, ask for help when needed, and take time to process life’s challenges. Align with your values and allow for progression. Progress—not perfection—brings fulfillment. Pressure creates diamonds. Fractures allow bone to heal stronger. Hardship can become the catalyst to profound pivotal growth if we allow it. Celebrate your wins, honor your journey, and realize that life is happening for you, not to you.